Get Rid of Negativity

What? Your Boss made a negative remark at you today? We often face a lot of negativity in the work sphere so good news is, join the club. At times, it is too difficult to get out of it's grasp, it is that consuming. So the question is What Do You Do? How do you overcome the wave of negative energy? Do you jump over it and simply let it pass or does it drown you?

I am not a strong person and I am not ashamed of it. Sometimes it is perfectly okay to not be strong because we are human. If there is -ve energy I do tend to get eaten by it, at the same time pushing hard to resist but is it really that easy? What would you do if your superior throws back words at you when they are themselves suffering from lack of self confidence/self esteem? What if the people sitting near your cubicle are grumpy all the time or when your Client never seems to agree to what you say, never ever appreciates your effort and even worse you actually have to see his face every single day? Ideally you wouldn't feel like continuing..but you NEED this job. So you bite hard and go on.

At times when you feel no longer accepted by your peers just because you have had an earlier raise this year, working relations get tougher. Sometimes, one person alone can spread the negative energy like a wild fire and no one takes a stand and says 'Don't worry, all is well'.

Have you never been into a family when personal relations get affected due to the same negativity? I have come across people who were made to believe that they were NOT good enough when they were a child and they have grown up with the same feeling all along. The result- lack of confidence, enviousness of others, getting into shells of the unknown fear and above all feeling alone in the dark. Bottom line is we all know this and must pass this test.

Get rid of it will you? Why not start looking into the positive aspects when everything starts going wrong. For eg. when you are having a hard time in your work place, maybe it's time for you to move out..do something better. So do we always get a SIGN when something -ve happens? Not always..it is truly unfortunate when things keep happening in the other way and you have no control over it. But there are still a couple of elements one can improvise on such as building up your self confidence. Stop at the red sign and tell yourself I CAN and in MJ's famous words 'just beat it'. Try not to get influenced easily. Sometimes when circumstances rip you off your patience, tolerance and all other noble virtues, moments when you want to shout out loud and change things badly, remember the Serenity prayer (someone I respect shared this with me and trust me at times it helps) -

"God, grant us the...

Serenity to accept things we cannot change,

Courage to change the things we can, and the

Wisdom to know the difference

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that we have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the

Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the

Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless."

Tell me what you do/ideally should do..let's talk again!

(pic courtesy-google images)

West through my eyes!

Hey there!

How have you all been? It's a relief to finally find some 'ME' time and talk to you guys. As promised, here is a real quick recap of our vacation. Define AWESOME and you would perhaps land on the west coast.

Will be honest, when we first planned the trip, I wasn't too sure how it would all go..it was not so short a trip, was all the way on the opposite coast, involved a lot of driving (although I would happily occupy the passenger's seat), lot of money and of course the fact that there might be last minute changes, the fear of cancellations or messing up here and there. I thanked my stars none of that happened.

So began a life time experience all with the last 30 mins of the flight that landed in Vegas. During that time all I could see was the breath-taking landscape of the Colorado, the undulations in the topography that almost tried to reach higher up where I was.. You know at times you feel like sending out a tweet 'I am in heaven'..I truly felt so at that moment!

As we came down sweeping the clouds with wide opened mouths viewing the LV skyline I thought I wish I had all the world's money to live here..

Tell me how many of you have in-flight sickness? umm..with a few air bumps I do feel my heart sinking..guess what when you are at a leisure trip, you kinda enjoy everything..yeah even that :D

I remember the first 3 days at the Strip.. it was like getting into new clothes almost twice a day (all my shopping finally paid off..yeye!), carrying band-aids in your purse cuz you knew your new plumps or heels would betray you (I am still carrying the mark on my ankle in fact) ...anyway walking endlessly and tirelessly on the streets, in the Hotels and Casinos ( a truly dreamed destination for gamblers) ...aah Streets of Vegas- with escalators on both ways for pedestrians to cross a bridge..Can you imagine!

It was the land of James Bond or Oceans 11 , I whispered to myself as I explored more of the 'pulse'. As I walked I felt Key Perry singing in my ears "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is/that's what you get for waking up in Vegas' ~

Wear anything you want to...8 out of 10 folks who toured on the strip sipping alcohol even in broad daylight did leave me suprised, every step I walked I was greeted with men and women distributing little cards..On taking a closer look I found pics of scantily clad women and other info which I didn't bother to look at! Sin City? The worst part is you cannot avoid these men who almost thrust these cards in your hands..the pavements are littered with these cards. .

So anyway, back to the better stuff, walk along till you are welcomed by the almost 50 feet high MGM grand Lion..Hats off to the person who came up with the concept and more to the people who built it! But this is just one of the 'many' constructions that leave you jaw-dropped...take a look at Luxor's pyramid with the the fascinating Sphinx Or maybe enter the Bellagio garden to make you feel like 'Alice in Wonderland' Or click the Eiffel tower in Paris, Brooklyn Bridge in NY Or see the Statue of Liberty in Vegas before GRU steals it (lol!)... be in virtual Disney land in Excalibur Or maybe step into Venetian to get a near-Venice feel or take a quick trip to the zoo in Mirage- white lions and tigers are not found so easily..Or maybe if you are lucky you can see the trainers feeding lions at MGM grand! It's almost like bringing the world famous destination spots all under one roof.

Speaking of roof--I was thrilled to walk on Freemont Street what a fabulous concept! See it with the neon lights off or experience real thunder right above your head..even better with Queen singing out loud "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU" or "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" in max volume...definitely gives goose-flesh to even the most unenthusiastic person on earth!

Take some more wild steps from the intoxicating Vegas into the Mojave desert....drive all the way to Grand Canyon..spot the meandering Colorado river from any of the rims..see the setting sun and congratulate mother nature for another brilliant creation.

When we left Nevada and entered California, I kept wondering what I would find in the 'Golden State'..CA was equally fascinating with a huge variety inside-out. Need one place with the most amazing beaches or lofty mountain ranges or even hot deserts all nearby..this is the place TO BE.

The next couple of days were spent at Universal Studios, Disney Land and beaches at San Diego and LA..of course not missing out the famous Hollywood sign which I have only seen on Television so far! I also remember Griffith observatory from where we viewed the planets Venus and Saturn with the telescope..absolutely loved it!

The real magic of Hollywood however was felt while touring in Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Sunset Blvd...never could I imagine seeing the palatial homes of the Stars...actors, film makers, artists, worshiped all over the world. When the guide told us 'that's Johny Depp's house over the hill..beyond the bamboo fences' I was ecstatic! One by one, we peeked into homes of Russel Crow, Steven Spielberg,Tom Cruise, Bela Lugosi, Will Smith, JLo and many more...Finally the one where the bus stopped nearly stopped my pounding heart---the last residence of MJ! The only word that hovered was RESPECT for the legend..this is where he lived his last days? The music I grew up with..the smile I adored all my life...the moves that made me and a zillion fans go crazy..

The euphoria ran down my spine as we moved on in our journey..exploring more of the Hills, smelling $$$ in the air with every avg. house in the neighborhood priced over 10 million.. On my way back from the Pacific land, mesmerized with the charm , the laughs, the jokes, cherishing more love, more togetherness and 'WE' moments, posing in front of the lens every single day and even with Harley Davidson bikes and Corvettes, with breath taking scenic beauty all along, with the every day thrills, shows, awesome food and night life I kept asking myself ..who said there is poverty in the world? who said people in Africa die of malaria cuz they cannot afford a $5 mosquito net? Truly this is one hell of an alternate world (like we believe there exists an alternate time) is it not??

Hotel California? Why not!!

Everyone,

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for not being able to share anything on my blog this month..Have been extremely tied up with work, shopping, very little trip planning (lol) and other things which are not so important to the rest of the world (lol again)!

Am happy to be able to take a short trip to the west coast next week and hoping I will have lots n lots to share when I get back. Right now I am over-brimming with excitement and thrilled and chilled all the way down my spine. This trip is one of a dream come true kinds...something I have always dreamt of. It's like singing one of those favourite songs by heart, or taking autograph from your most loved celebrity..one thing after another. But I would just like to stop and thank my hubby whole-heartedly for making all this come true for me. When I come to think of it, it's actually a surprise he gave me when I wasn't really expecting such a break at this time. I needed it bad..real bad..Best Friends do understand you, don't they!

We all need a break before we break down. Just when you feel trapped and claustrophobic in a box, somebody comes and unlocks the lid..wooohoo! I really do hope we all have a great time, a safe journey and came back safe and sound with nothing lost. Looking forward to the melting sun, the breath-taking Canyons, the enchanting Vegas, the beautiful Pacific, thrill of California, the desert rose, the margaritas, lots of hugs, clicks and sleepless hectic days..haha..

I feel almost like Chris Griffin, enjoying every bit of the guitar even when I don't know how to play it :D

Will pen down lots more when I am back, till then..stay good all of you!

(pic courtesy-google images)

Colors of Life..one of them being foggy.

" When I bring to you colored toys, my child,

I understand why there is such a play of colors on clouds, on water,
and why flowers are painted in tints
---when I give colored toys to you, my child.

Like the poet describes every fold of color he sees around, we see it as well in our life. I have always wanted to take some time out and talk about some usual and unusual colors of life..today, I speak of one..

I remember the time when I sat on the banks of the beautiful Ganges and saw the setting Sun..I also remember the moments I couldn't take my eyes off the golden fire-ball, setting on the horizon, while I sat speechless at Lake Ontario. To me, it doesn't matter where you watch an event what matters more is with whom you're watching it.. I, for instance, wouldn't love to be there alone.

I know people who love to be all by themselves, love to wander, speak to nature when alone..We are a loner often, so why be in solitude when you can have company? As far as I am concerned, the moments when I like to be left to myself is when I am really upset about something. When I say 'leave me alone' I don't always mean it literally...on the contrary, it actually means 'do not leave..I need you even more now'. Has this happened with you too?

Again, like everything else, solitude is a choice..often we choose to be alone..sometimes it indulges in a birth of a poem or a song, at others it's a time to reflect, talk to one self, look back at the things done and the things you are about to do..sometimes it's about confronting anger, disappointment or even desire. I often wonder how some people find it blissful to be in the lap of nature all by themselves..no, not all are sad souls, not all are struck with grief..

Some say, it brings out the best in you, paints the most beautiful portrait you could ever create with your brush. If creativity is re-born in solitude, so be it. All we long for, are intense hues..we want to be and are infact, surrounded by the colors of life. I hate greys and blacks when it comes to living with the essence of life..but many a times these are the two shades that encase us all the more.

Today, I give solitude a color of it's own- 'foggy'. Why, because at moments when we see the sunlight through the fog in a valley, we exclaim with fascination. At another instance you curse your fate for having to drive in a dense fog. Solitude is somewhat like that..there are times you fall in love with it for having showered you with loads of imagination, concentration and peace of mind, more like a 'meaningful alone time'.

And of course there are times when you feel like singing:

"Bad fog of loneliness

Put a cloud on my single-mindedness

I dream of sweet caress

From you."

What's your shade for solitude? Let's talk...

*pic: one of my sketches, courtesy-my solitude ;)

Snow Again..good, bad..whatever....and a short recap of the Norwesters!

This is one time of the day when I try setting my eyes on a nice article on the web or watch a DVD sipping Sierra Mist. However right now, all I read were updates flashing on the weather channel:

'A winter storm complete with heavy snow, flooding rains and damaging winds will slam the region Thursday...' Gosh when will the winter fury leave North East?? Last snowstorm, our neighbor built a Snowman some 20ft tall..it was awesome! Clicked some snaps on the afternoon we went out for a short drive. Even took some shots of a beautiful half-frozen lake nearby. The ducks swimming in the part that was still in the liquid state, made it look even prettier.

Having a white weather is always pleasant for the eyes but painful for those who have to shovel all the snow and tackle the 'black ice' on the roads. Last snowstorm (rather snowpocalypse)I remember we did something different. My husband and I went out for a walk at 12.30am when the blizzard was on. It wasn't more than 0 degree centigrade and apart from the snow hitting our face, the walk was interesting. We came back tracing our own footsteps. I guess, we two were the only crazy souls in Maple Shade, walking in the middle of the night, in the middle of a blizzard and for no reason at all! I loved every moment of it because it was unique, something which I never did before. For my folks back home, it's a fact that the temperature is not that cold when it snows. It drops drastically when it starts melting. As I understand, snow absorbs heat energy from the surroundings in the process making the temperatures drop even more.
Now for another good part of a snowstorm is people getting an option to work from home..yey yey!! *Please neglect the negative aspects of snow cleaning and rare power cuts. I am really trying to cheer up people like me who don't really prefer winter storms :D
So just make sure you have an efficient shovel at home, enough grocery done for 2-3 days, trash cleaned up, mails dropped in time, keep a good stock of DVDs, books..just in case you get tired from working, phoning, blogging, gaming,cleaning, cooking, taking videos of your dog playing in the snow, etc etc..oh that's already a big list.
ALSO, do remember to keep the wipers of your car up. If you've ever forgotten to do so before the storm hits, you'll know exactly what I mean.

It's funny when people ask me how exciting it is when it snows. I lived all my life in a city where we were most moved by the Norwesters, known as 'Kalbaisakhi' during early summer.
You would not believe the countless songs and brilliant poetry composed, beautifying the thunderstorms. That signified a relief from the hot, dry summer, welcoming the rains, a sign of green, a melody for the peasants, the starving earth quenching it's thirst with every drop. A time for little hands building paper boats and sailing in the accumulated rain water, a time to dance and celebrate, washing every dirt inside out..a time for imaginations to soar high as if with every strike of lightning, your heart awakens, dazzled and shivering like a scared deer..lost in the woods, yet finding a place among the most eloquent clouds.

When the Earth embraces Kalbaisakhi your mind sings out loud
"Like a rain-cloud of July
hung low with its burden of unshed showers
let all my mind bend down at thy door in one salutation to thee.."
(taken from Gitanjali)

I sometimes wonder how Tagore would describe every snowstorm..the master himself would surely find a way to connect every block of ice and snow with the living world. I wonder how would he dream of a 'white Christmas'. Would it be entirely white or would it still hold some colors of life, flashbacks of the past, dreams of the future..only he can answer.

It's not important how we react..it's important how we feel, how we change..Does the seasonal changes in nature affect our nature too? Tell me how it impacts you..am all ears...!



(pic courtesy for Kalbaisakhi-TrekEarth gallery)

Another lazy afternoon...

Woke up with a big yawn, a sparkle of love and scattered dreams of yesternight..What is it that I need to do today..no cooking cuz that's done..visting Genuardi and Sabzi Mandi...oh I hate to do grocery:(

My husband told me the other day 'let's go skiing this weekend'..Now I think I was headless to say a 'no' to something like that.

Speaking of grocery again..I always wondered how my dad would go to the Indian bazaar every morning and get home fresh fish. I mean I love fish and love the way my mom cooked every delicacy..but going to the bazzar every morning? I would never do that. My dad has patience..he is NEVER tired..he is always on his toes..even when he sneezed and coughed, he would never fail to get into his shoes and go to the market. I always tried to stop him, told him what's the need really and he would answer me 'you need to eat fresh everyday..it's good for your health'. That would stop me from questioning him further..parents never listen in such an instance.

Today as I lie on my bed thousands of miles away from home, biting my nails and talking to my dad through the webcam, I asked the same question again. He said with a sigh.."I don't go every morning..I shop in the evenings on my way from the office...it's just your mom and me now.."

As we continued to speak, he sent me some pics taken on his latest camera phone (I can't tell you how excited he is with a new device). In one of them, my mom looked amazing, didn't know she looked so good in pink. Another snap made Baba (my father) look so old..his hair has grayed even more now..He will never go for a dye and rather prefers to gray with dignity. I wish I could change the way he thinks at times but gosh he is so stubborn..Don't know why but I suddenly felt so sad seeing him getting old..may be I should be around more at this time. I always see Baba as the enthusiastic, energetic man..the Mr.Dependable in our family..love his black and white photographs capturing his college days, his youth..that's how I see him even now.

This post was not really meant to talk about my parents so much...but looks like it does now! Guess this is bound to happen when you miss some people terribly and long to give a BIG hug and say "Baba, Maa, I missed you so much!"

Don't leave it to your lizard brain..

There is something about me which I've always despised..Inconsistency. When I started writing my own blog I wanted to write a lot..so much about myself..my life..but I ended up reading other people's blogs more during this time.. I apologise to the 'inner me'..It struggles so hard with the 'outer me' and is often so upset to loose..I wish I could do something about it..

I wish I could quiet the 'Lizard Brain'..guess what, a few weeks back I read this amazing post by Seth Godin (I absolutely love the compositions of this genius). He talks about the irrationality of human behaviour. Our contradictions never end when we say we want something and end up doing something totally different..

"When an athlete just does the sport, or when a writer just writes the words, we can't help but watch, astonished at the purity of their actions. Why is it so difficult to do what we say we're going to do?

The lizard brain.."

In another words it's the resistance as Seth describes, that tells us to back off many a times. It's like struggling with a gator and not winning..Perhaps not writing for so long has been a judgement given by my lizard brain..

The lizard brain as I have come to know of is our 'old brain' that sits at the base of the skull above our spine. My friends studying evolution might know this better. It's a part of the brain that plays the survival strategy, warns us, makes us compromise with situations, with people. Now, I think..for all those times when I refused to do something or may be adapt to something more easier/convenient in life..maybe I should blame it all on my lizard brain..OR is it just another excuse for all the resistance??

Talking of adjustments..for several days I had an eye on a popular restaurant in the vicinity. Loved their website and the ambience..I even overlooked the over priced menu and kept finding excuses to dine there. Finally I did so..and to my astonishment I discovered that most of the food we ordered, was awful! I have laughed over it...trust me I did. But deep down I felt embarassed, ashamed of wanting to be somewhere so much and not expecting what I have been so far..More so, cuz I had to make the choice with the restaurant tonight. So..where is the adjustment? well.. covering it all up with a laughter, a good sense of humor and saying..yeah..we DO need to gain experiences of all kind...good and bad. So..well..it was uh..huh..Cummmon...guess it's just one of those times when I kind of curse myself for making a wrong choice. This is a petty incident..bt that just got me thinking..all over again!

Lizard Brain or not..there is always a Choice.. Don't leave it to the reptile..leave it to the chromosomes that are all human :)